Best Funny Quotes to Inspire, Uplift & Motivate You Every Day

“People don't want to listen to a celebrity tweeting about their charities and shows. That's why comedy writers do well - we put out little funny ideas.”

“I am a candid interview and I have a dark and dry sense of humor - a very Canadian sense of humor and I am only learning now stupidly that you can't read tongue. When I say something funny in a newspaper and I meant it to be funny, it doesn't read that way.”

“Some nights I'm funny with the between-song commentary, some nights I'm not. I have no control over this. I pace the stage a lot and struggle with the mic stand in a ridiculous way.”

“The funny thing about being a preacher's kid is when you're playing tournaments on Saturdays and Sundays, you miss a lot of Sunday services.”

“You want to be able to really tackle a character and make it a fully-dimensional human being who is complicated, funny, and all the things that a person could be. If you can achieve that, you feel great. You so rarely get to do that as an actress in general, but as a black actress, it's almost never.”

“Thing is, I'm a funny actor, but I'm not good at being funny. I'm going to ramble for a second: I'm an actor who can make things funny in the moment, like in stakes or in circumstances or out of character.”

“Jesse Tyler Ferguson is probably one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life. Everything the kid does is funny. I think he tunes his life to being funny.”

“My husband was very special and very funny and outspoken, and he would have a black and blue every so often because under the table, I'd say, 'Don't say that!'”

“I never did standup before. It just looked like it was really hard, looked like there was like up days and down days - and I'm too emotionally unstable for that. I need to always be funny and always be loved.”

“Every wedding is slightly different from the other. But you always get to meet the funny uncle and the weirdo relatives, and there's always someone trying to beat you up for not playing enough Beatles songs or something.”

“I think cheese smells funny, but I feel bananas 'are' funny. I'm assuming Swamp told the whole story of the executives seriously asking us to replace the banana with cheese because they thought it was funnier.”

“It's easy to be silly in real life, but making stuff up onstage, that seemed hard. Better to be the funny person off-the-cuff in the room than to risk being unfunny onstage.”

“I've been very lucky to work in a newsroom where there are lots of strong, funny, clever women in senior positions.”

“You have to imagine you write a show about a sponge and you think that maybe a few people will think it is funny, some college students, but it takes off. It is truly shocking - to the point where it is bizarre.”

“I like clever lyrics, funny lyrics, dumb lyrics. I can never put my finger on what I like about them.”

“I would love to be more specific, but really, any type of bird is the funniest animal. They have to move awkwardly when walking. They have beady eyes; they are very suspicious. They can't do anything right. They have no hands, which is inherently funny.”

“My funny speech wasn't funny. That's not the first time a politician has done that.”

“It's funny, the power of music. I was watching 'Dracula,' the 1931 version with Bela Lugosi, and the only music you hear is at the very beginning of the credits. There's not one other piece of music; it's all silent. It's unbelievable, and it's very effective, too.”

“I love horror. It's funny, because 'The Invitation' never struck me as horror, but it's definitely that type of thriller.”

“Glenn was the one who invited me to join the Eagles in 1974, and it turned out to be a gift of a lifetime to have spent so many years working side by side with him. He was funny, strong, and generous. At times, it felt like we were brothers, and at other times, like brothers, we disagreed.”

“The gummy bears tattoo was my idea. It's my son's favorite candy. The sketch was my other son's idea. It's a self-portrait of himself. I just showed the artist his sketch and had him tattoo it on my forearm. It looks like a stick person with big hair. It's pretty funny.”

“I was voted funniest person in my middle-school yearbook. So I guess I was funny in middle school?”

“I get called 'the girl off the dancing horse.' I just laugh; I think it's really funny. It's true, isn't it? It's great we're getting that recognition.”

“I didn't understand key signatures or anything, you know. I'd say silly things at the top of a trumpet part like, 'Note, when you play B naturals, make the B naturals a half step lower because they sound funny if they're B naturals.' And some guy said: 'Idiot, just put a flat on the third line and it's a key signature, you know?'”

“Things can be funny when people are uneasy. It softens them up and stops them falling asleep on the sofa. I like those moments where people half-smile and half-wince.”

“If you imagine yourself to be someone who is very uncomfortable in their own skin, then it does funny things to your voice.”

“Many comedians have a dark side that lets them take a negative thing and turn it funny.”

“You look at 'Survivor's Remorse.' Or 'Blackish.' Or Issa Rae's brilliant, funny 'Insecure,' which started out on YouTube but is now on HBO. And you see multifaceted representations of the African-American experience. It's insanely exciting.”

“Once, after a long week, I felt so insecure that I decided to make a list of people who thought I was funny even if I didn't think I was. At the top of the list, I wrote, 'Garry Shandling.' His early praise protected me like a comedy-writer version of Harry Potter's scar.”

“You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.”

“It's funny, because I had no intention of being in a band because I was so shy. But I loved playing music and loved writing songs. I always thought I'd be in the background and, if I did get into a band, be a backup musician.”

“He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.”

“Looking the way I look, whenever anybody's looking for a light brown funny guy, I get the call... I'm 100 percent Greek, but I look like I could be Indian or Middle Eastern or Hispanic. If it's ethnic, they'll try and put me in it.”

“I wear black skinny-fit jeans - I can't get away from them. It's funny because I wore baggy jeans for ages, then one day my friend convinced me to try on a skinny pair and I thought they were great.”

“We adore babies because they're so cute. And, of course, we are amused by jokes because they are funny. This is all backwards. It is. And Darwin shows us why.”

“There's a long history of anthropomorphic animals in Japanese literature. The so-called 'funny animal scrolls' were the first narratives in Japanese history, and the heroes of many folk tales have animals as their companions.”

“It's funny, in literature no one ever goes to the lavatory.”

“Imagination is a funny thing - we sometimes need to see something before we can truly picture it.”

“God has a funny way of giving you the answer when you get your mind away from goofy things.”

“Katy Perry still gets me every time. She's very funny in person! We met at the Teen Choice Awards and she pulled my cheeks apart and told me how cute I was. My life was literally flashing before my eyes!”

“There are a lot of funny motels. There was one motel in the middle of nowhere: it was real plain, but it had a gigantic green monster, something like the Creature from the Black Lagoon, standing next to this lake.”

“The magic in performing as an entertaining ventriloquist happens when the characters come to life and the interaction between the separate personalities on stage becomes 'real.' Then don't forget that the act has to be funny, and to me, being funny and entertaining any given audience is more important than anything.”

“I'm not that good looking. That's why 'Gangnam Style' works. If someone handsome uses that phrase it's just awkward. But if someone like me uses it, it's funny.”

“Earl Hebner used to call me 'Tiger,' so I went with the last name Woods because I thought it was funny. I'm a huge fan of X-Men and, just, intelligence in general, and the leader in charge is named Prof. Charles Xavier. I took Xavier from him and put together the two names.”

“To handle that stardom, the red carpets, the photo shoots, people all of a sudden recognizing you and following you in everyday life, it's a bit weird. It's strange, and it can have funny effects on you in terms of do you like it or don't you like it. Some people run away from it, some people embrace it; I found a good middle ground.”

“My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.”

“The conundrum that I face on a daily basis is that I have two sons who have grown up watching 'The Simpsons,' so they know exactly what buttons to push. They know how Bart irritates Homer, and they use these lines against me to tell me that I'm not funny anymore.”

“Humor has become so cliche and boring that nothing's funny anymore unless it involves something totally disgusting that offends somebody or makes them feel really uncomfortable.”

“A reputation takes years and years and years to build, and it takes one press of a button to ruin it. Don't let that happen to you. You've done so much work; you've put in so much effort. Don't let one moment ruin your entire life because you wanted to be funny or you were mad or because you had a mood.”

“Children are the most honest critics. They will say 'You're funny', but also 'You're pathetic - go away.'”

“I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.”

“I have a funny mental framework when I do physics. I create an imaginary audience in my head to explain things to - it is part of the way I think. For me, teaching and explaining, even to my imaginary audience, is part of the process.”

“You can hate me for being a woman, you can hate me for being smart, you can hate me for being funny, but you hate me because I am doing something you could never do. End of story.”

“When it comes to black female comedians, it's like, if you're not overweight, are you funny? There's rules, like, you can't be skinny and pretty and funny. I'm all three, sorry to break it to you.”

“When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it all the right way. It's funny how different it looks and how it's happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head, and outwardly it looks like I'm going to get a bagel.”

“I think I have a dark view of the world. I have to make everything funny, otherwise it all seems so sad.”

“It's really funny to me that I get called a workhorse or somebody who's really good at making other people better in the ring. I feel like I'm good at every aspect of this. I feel like I'm a great talker; I feel like I'm a great representative of the company. I broke records in college. I have an amateur background with fighting skills.”

“I'm never afraid to try something if I think it's funny. And I know I'll regret it if I don't.”

“One of the funny lines that Daniel Bryan said in a promo is that he made fun of me for driving in an SUV, and he asked why such a small man like myself needs to drive an SUV, but we're standing literally eye to eye, and I'm like, 'Ummm.'”

“Films are big hits when they touch a lot of people. Things are not funny in a vacuum, they're funny because we respond to some personal dislocation, some embarrassment, some humiliation, some pain we've suffered, or some desire we have.”

“I learned that you can be powerful and funny at the same time, and you don't have to be liked. I think that's a big thing sometimes with stand-up, especially if you're the sassy one or the nice one.”

“If it gets laughs, it's funny.”

“In Nova Scotia, there are some definite down-home accents, and it's funny because you can go to Sydney, and one guy is from North Sydney, and you can't understand a thing he's saying, or Glace Bay or wherever.”

“All directors are control freaks and very obsessive. I get the feeling that directors as kids, they all have had a childhood with not too much contact with other kids. They constructed their own reality and they continue to do it. It's a funny breed, directors.”

“It's funny how God will just keep using you, and our motto around our family forever has been, 'Just let Him use you.'”

“I never thought I was funny, but I enjoy being funny.”

“I don't want to sound hoity-toity, but people told me I should watch 'Cheers' because it's very funny. So I watched it, and I just went, 'This is the great show of the universe?' To me, acting is making characters believable, not just doing jokes.”

“In my circle of friends, I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me.”

“My mother is very funny. She is from a village; she has a typical village kind of humour. Often she says a lot of things she herself isn't aware is a punch line.”

“30 Rock' is superbly funny - it's unashamedly odd, loud and cartoony. There are physical jokes, clever jokes, dumb jokes, character jokes and jokes within jokes. And, if you don't like jokes, there are lots of characters.”

“Oh all the time when Victoria Wood and I did our series. There were people asking 'Can women be funny?' People still ask that. It's like asking: 'Can women breathe in and out?'”

“I think I have got quite a posh Scottish accent. It's funny because I grew up in Oxgangs and Fife.”

“I'm a pretty funny guy, and I would love to do a comedy with a bunch of funny guys - movie-star guys, where they could help me through it.”

“I'm terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well, so they're not funny. I end up saying, 'Oh, no, I'm joking, I'm joking.'”

“Most of my show is true; like, 90% of everything I say on stage is true. I just have to find the way to make it funny - that's the difficult thing.”

“My stepfather was a brilliant and funny psychiatrist but he was a hound dog. He just didn't know how to be faithful.”

“Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.”

“In the happy scenes there were really fun times. Sean would say really funny stuff because he likes to improv. I would want to laugh, but you are not allowed to do that during the take.”

“If something is very, very funny but possibly controversial, if it's truly funny, then it's worth doing. Things aren't worth doing for the sake of being controversial.”

“I actually went to see 'Rushmore,' and I came late, and I missed myself. It was great, that scene. I caught that scene the other day on TV, funny enough, the first scene that you see with Jason Schwartzman and myself, where we talk about his grades. That's a brilliant scene, and I have to say, we play it brilliantly.”

“Funny enough, if you are looking at people these days who are putting Botox in their face and getting all sorts of plastic surgery, we look at them and go, I can tell you've had Botox. I can tell you've had plastic surgery. You look really strange to me. But no one's saying anything. We're just accepting the fact that they're strange-looking.”

“I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time.”

“Folks, it's okay to find flamboyant homosexuality funny.”

“About 100 things that your kid will do that will surprise you and break your heart and it will be a combination of fact based therapy, medically advised kinds of passages accompanied by celebrity anecdotes and just some funny stuff to lighten the load.”

“I saw 'Annie Hall' with a group of people working in comedy and television. We were all stunned. Stunned. It was like watching a spaceship land. That something that funny could also be that beautiful.”

“You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.”

“If you believe, as I do believe, in reincarnation, they say that every time you come back, it's because you have to finish something. I've a funny feeling that my thing in this life is to have one relationship after another.”

“We were a very funny family. Humour was the tool with which my brother and I tried to get attention. We were always trying to be the funniest.”

“Lou Holtz, I was also a huge fan of. He was really funny. I think that's a big part of why I was attracted to the Razorbacks: I thought Lou Holtz was really funny. He is really funny. Too bad he's a born-again, or whatever.”

“What really irks me is the snide victimizing suggestion from some that I have tried to be lighthearted and funny... Oh my God - this is so offensive.”

“Twitter is the place where I try to be more funny. And then I use Instagram just as my diary. I pull some jokes on there, but I think people have a better sense of humor on Twitter.”

“Funny enough, there have been puppets in everything I've written because I have a huge love of puppets. There's a big puppet musical at the end of 'Sarah Marshall.' I wrote 'The Muppets.'”

“I think of myself as a funny guy but nobody thinks I'm funnier than my daughters.”

“I make these little films. I'm just a working person. I just study people a little bit more. It's more sociological, and it's funny anyway - not that serious. It's not like false humility. I just take it for what it is.”

“In terms of being vulgar, I don't think you need to be violent unless it's slapstick, violence to yourself. That can be funny - we've all tripped and fallen on our faces.”

“A funny thing happens in real estate. When it comes back, it comes back up like gangbusters.”

“Playing video games, as funny as it might sound, it's a very important part of our day. Our schedule is so hectic, chaotic, demanding that we need an outlet. We need ways to express ourselves and let our energy out.”

“I've done so many funny jobs. I worked at a farmer's market through high school. I worked in the stock room of Ralph Lauren. I graduated to salesperson at Ralph Lauren, which was a big deal to me. I've been a P.A. I've been a stand-in. I've been an assistant's assistant.”

“I tell you, it's funny because the only time I think about HIV is when I have to take my medicine twice a day.”

“It's funny; before I started writing professionally, I had a job logging video footage for behind-the-scenes footage for special features.”