“My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortu...” — Rodney Dangerfield Quote

“My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.”

“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”

“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”