“A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the ...” — Phyllis Diller Quote

“A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.”

“We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up.”

“Housework won't kill you, but then again, why take the chance?”